I spent all of last week in Nicaragua. This trip was something I had considered for a few years and it felt liberating to finally go out and do it. I thought I would try to recapitulate my experiences as best I can. I was too lazy/preoccupied to keep a journal so this is all from memory.
Managua
I landed in the capital on a later flight and didn’t get to my hostel (1 of only 2 things I booked in advance) until about 11pm. I was hungry and thirsty but in no way tired. I zapped some water from the kitchen with my UV light and snacked on trail mix in the common area. It was there I met Gil, an Israeli girl of about my age. She essentially determined the course of the rest of my trip. Originally, I thought I might spend a day in Managua and then head South. However, she lambasted Managua and raved about a town called Leon, which was North-West of the sketchy capital. I instantly decided that I would go there in the morning. Gil and I talked until 1:30am and I retired about 2am. My dorm was co-ed and I was impressed with how everyone embraced the lack of privacy. I lay in my bunk until 3am listening to the sound of traffic and a monkey and then got up at 3am. My excitement forced me to aim for the 4am “chicken bus” to Leon. I headed out on foot but then realized there were other people from the hostel taking a cab and so I hopped in. Gil was one of the passengers and she insisted that I wait until sun up for my own safety. I proceeded anyway but when we got to the bus stop the cabbie started making a fuss. One of the girls translated for me and said that he didn’t want to let me out because he was sure I’d get mugged. Instead, he insisted on taking me to a different bus stop where there would be more people. I was confused but I agreed. We pulled up just as the red school bus was leaving and I was able to grab the last seat for just over $2 after tip. Even though we were at max capacity when I got on the bus still stopped at least a dozen times to pick up several more people and their chickens (hence the name). By the time we got on the main road I was sandwiched between the behind of a rather large women standing in the aisle with a tray of tortillas and the older man sitting next to me. I made a point not to return to Managua.
Leon
The sun starting coming up shortly before we got to the quaint colonial town. This was nice because I could see the farms and the volcanoes on the horizon. Following a tip from Gil I worked my way over to the Bigfoot hostel, arriving at 6am. I had to wait until people woke up to get a room/bed so I left my pack behind the bar and went for a walk through the city. I bought two apples and ate them as I walked through the town and into the slums. The architecture of churches is impressive. I walked through them and since I couldn’t understand the sermons I actually felt comfortable. I noticed that all through the streets there are a vast number of stray dogs. I had to stop to play with a bunch of them and one took a liking to me and followed me for several blocks of my walk. I grabbed breakfast in a hotel lobby and then returned back to Bigfoot to check in.
I noticed a sign in the lobby that advertised a day trip to the beach and a xmas eve dinner. For $25 a shuttle to and from a pristine beach, all you can eat from a home-cooked style meal and all you can drink from 8-10pm. Everyone knew it was overpriced but lots of people signed up anyway. I signed up because the previous day had been long and hectic because of the travelling and I wanted to just shut my brain off and go with the flow on this day. While waiting for the shuttle I got to know some of my fellow travellers. I first met a newly wed couple, again from Israel, called Tzily and Oren. They quickly became my favourite people in the world. I also met another Andrew from Edmonton and we ended up travelling together for the rest of my trip.
The day trip turned out spectacularly. I drank lots of the local beer (cerveza) called Tona (through that little squiggly over the N so it’s pronounced “Tonya”), thrashed about in the water, went for a long walk down the infinite and unpopulated beach, save for a group of the largest cows I had ever seen, saw a perfect sunset and then watched as 50 baby turtles were released and raced across the sand to the ocean. The only thing better than the day was the dinner. When we got back a huge long table was set and decorated and the food was tender and delicious. Music was pumping from the bar and several dozen people gathered around and enjoyed the festivities. The only people who weren’t present were the group of Israelites (six of them in the hostel). They had cooked their own meal and were eating in the next room. There were three reasons why they weren’t joining us and each one I found hilarious because it truly accented their Jewishness. The first was that they obviously didn’t celebrate Christmas. The second was that the meal wasn’t kosher. And finally, they thought the meal was too expensive. I thought it was all good fun so when I finished my food I grabbed a couple more mojitos and proclaimed that I was going to go hang out with the Jews. As expected they welcomed me openly and before I knew it we were all rushing off to the night clubs. This is where a girl called Naor and I started our two day relationship.
For whatever reason, everyone in Nicaragua thinks I’m gay. I noticed this vibe walking around the streets, it was inquired at the hostel, and it became particularly noticeable at the night club because of the behaviour of the other men towards me. To abate the aggressive come ons (and because I wanted an in with Naor) I asked her if we could make out a little bit in order to lower my rainbow flag. She agreed and we locked lips the rest of the night. This solved one problem but created another. Now the guys were constantly grabbing me to tell me things I couldn’t understand and giving me hi-fives. Naor knew spanish and said that they wanted threesomes. We didn’t stay there long. Instead we took to making out in the unkept streets of Leon to the sounds of Nica cheering and whistling. I guess they don’t see Gringos going at it that often. Anyway, Naor eventually had to tend to her pouty friend and so I finally went to bed at 2am for the first time since leaving Calgary at 6am, 2 days prior.
Leon is a beautiful place, Bigfoot is the nicest hostel I’d ever seen and I now had a romance in the making so I had to stay for a second day. Naor and I went volcano boarding. This entailed sitting in the back of a truck and bumping down a dirt road for 2 hours, hiking up an active volcano with an old timer toboggan and then sledding down the scree slope. This isn’t my group but you get a good idea of what the deal was…
I snuck to the front of the group so that I could run back up the volcano for a second and literal run down (no board this time just shoe skiing). Trying to climb the loose scree was exhausting and by the time I got to the top the last person was going down and I so I had to catch up even though I was exhausted. I ran down with exceptionally long strides and nearly vomited at the bottom. The effort was greater than any 800m I had ever run in my track days (or recently in a bet). To unwind Naor and I made out on the couch back at the hostel while intermittently discussing marriage (not between us, just in general) and the morality of sex. This went on until 11pm when I joined the rest of the Jews and other Andrew for a meal that they made (I just chipped in 50 Cordova (about $2) to cover my costs. That night Naor offered her bed to me because she knew it was my last night there. She made it clear there would be no hanky panky but it was still a lovely sleepover. I left Leon the next morning before she woke up. It wasn’t the longest relationship in the world (in fact it probably actually was the shortest) but it was a good one. Depth over distance.
* To make this thing readable I will break it up into separate blogs. Stay tuned.
middlesidetopwise 
Sounds pretty awesome so far!