I was driving around St. Albert today and needed relief from my mid-afternoon lull so I steered my van towards a Second Cup. I had been on the road for a while so before even ordering my drink I headed towards the washroom. As soon as this intention became apparent another man jumped up and beat me to the punch. Before closing the door he made a bunch of hand gestures. I looked over at his buddy and he told me he was deaf. Though I wasn’t sure why this granted him precedent to the pisser I wasn’t in such an urgent state as to warrant making a fuss. I ordered my coffee and by the time it came the man re-emerged. He came up to me at the counter and shook my hand. He then rubbed the inside of my forearm as if trying to start a fire and then patted me simultaneously on the chest and back. I instantly thought that this is how all people should greet one another. So awesome.
I then took my turn in the washroom. When I came out the deaf guy extended his arm and flat out flipped my the bird. He then hovered his hand over his coffee cup. I turned to his buddy and asked “What does that mean?”
“Oh you know…Have a good day and stuff” he responded. I wonder…
In other news, I forgot to mention that my territory has been extended for work. I will now be building the brand in Saskatchewan, Manitoba, and Thunder Bay, Ontario. The Prairies and I will become well acquainted this next year. I mapped it out and my loop will take me about 5000 km. I will now begin taking suggestions for good albums/podcasts. Also, if anyone knows a good speed dealer that may also come in handy.
Speaking of driving, I have recently spotted many dog related bumper stickers that bother me as much as the religious paraphernalia. For starters, I don’t understand why people use that avenue as a form of self-expression. But furthermore, I think it may be harmful to excessively anthropomorphize dogs. It’s strange how many signs I’ve noticed in the past few days. Today I saw one that combined the two realms I have spoken of. It said “Lord, help me to be the person my dog thinks I am.” Yack!
I started writing a song today and it made me wonder. I bet that if people were to actually meet God several of them would ask him “How’s the weather up there?” I expressed that I don’t like talking about the weather. The funny thing is people who know this don’t bring it up less now, they simply preface the conversation by saying “Now I know you don’t like talking about the weather but…” This is comparable to saying “No offence” before saying something offensive, as if the preface actually cancels out the thing that follows. This doesn’t bother that much. I just thinks it’s funny.
Oh and one other thing…
I recalled recently how my 4th grade teacher would bark at anyone who said the word “can’t.” She wouldn’t allow it because she thought it limited her students. However, by doing so she was saying that we can’t say the word can’t. A Never say never type of paradox.
Oh fuck… I forgot to talk about this crazy bastard I met the other day. He lives and works in the woods and hates city life. He only came in to play music for a charity function. While I was setting up his sound stuff he told me how he fell off an 80 foot cliff and survived 10 days in the snow by himself. He has since recovered much of his functions but still has a few brain fart moments where his face contorts and he goes silent for a moment while speaking. Another time he was approached by a Grizzly Bear. He tried to scare it off but it kept approaching. When it got to within feet of him he blew its head clean off with a sawed off shot gun. I recently started trimming my beard with a pair of scissors and I thought that was manly.