Oct 30th – Paris Hilton, Global Warming, Penis Enlargement Pills, Terrorism, 2012 Doomsday and Other Things That People Often Google

After the blog war that broke out between JWalsh, Larry and myself I thought I would satisfy my narcissistic side by exploiting various popular search topics in order to increase the number of hits for this post.

There are so many things I wish to discuss and new segments I’d like to start (Doug’s Digest, Doug’s Dishes, What’s Doug Diggin’? and What Doug Dug…etc). I shall see how much energy I can muster and how long my attention span lasts and go from there.

First off, I shall start with a recap of this weekend’s events. I decided to fly into Ottawa to see all of my Hamilton friends. Two of my old housemates now live in Ottawa and the Mac XC team competed at OUAs so it worked out very conveniently. I caught the ol’ Red Eye on Thursday night and got into the ‘twa (Ottawa? Can I start that?) at 2am. Larry came to meet me and I guided him to my location by busking one of our old favorites. We walked up to Parliament Hill for a tour and then over to the Champlain monument for a jam session. Though it was extremely cold we still played until the Big Ben clock struck 4.

The next day was sort of a throw away until about 6pm when we met the Mac coaches for dinner and then hung out with the team back at the hotel. It was great to see everyone again. The old saying “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone” was sort of the anti-thesis for my feelings. I actually realized how much I had missed these people when I finally saw them again.

Sunday was the race. I had a blast running around the course in order to get good cheering spots. I was offered the role of flag bearer and it is safe to say I was in everyone’s business with that thing. This is the second year now that I have spectated the championship meets. Last year I missed not running but this year I was more comfortable simply viewing.

After the race the alumni group joined the runners, along with the coaches and parents at a pub called Patty’s. More reminiscing took place and then the short lived reunion had to end. Though I am staying until Monday, the team had to go back to the Hammer that evening. The next step, which was to attend the Ottawa XC team’s Halloween party, was fitting with my further desire for the company of others.

The alumni crew poked around Value Village until finally settling on the idea of going as Jersey Shore Douche bags. I squeezed into some women’s stretch jeans, a tight, deep-V shirt and smeared instant bronze all over my body for a subtle, smooth tan. Halloween is always fun because you can become an entirely different person for a night (Though no one knew me at this party so it didn’t matter). There was something about those jeans that I felt instantly (other than the constriction of circulation). We ran across the street to buy the bronzer at Shoppers and I got a huge rush of excitement. I saw a shopping cart and tried to jump it but could not lift my legs hit enough due to the tightness of the pants. I clipped it and went down hard on the pavement. Walk it off.

At the party I became well acquainted with a blue crayon. It was a nice evening until around 2am when she found comfort in the claws of Wolverine. I do not take that stuff very well at all so after a quick Shwarma break I decided that I was going to drink until I puked. I sat down on the couch with a once sleeping JWalsh and we had a YouTube jam session (swapping favorite songs) until 4am as I cranked another 4 beers. I don’t remember what happened because instead of throwing up I just passed out on the couch…with all my bronze rub still on. I woke up in the morning to this realization and quickly had a shower and then just started the day.

Today was probably the most relaxing day I have had in a very long time. Perhaps ever. I had no goals. All there was to do was walk around and talk with my friends. In the evening Larry, Noah and I made dinner, drank rye and ginger and listened to the warm crackling of old records.

Okay. I’ll start a few segments.

Doug’s Digest:

I have a new rule that I have implemented. Whenever I buy something new, that isn’t food or another necessity, I have to get rid of two things. Ex. I bought a coffee maker and got rid of my microwave and blender (never use them). I also bought a hot plate recently but I am selling my truck (that counts for like 10 things). The purpose of this is to continue to reduce the amount of needless shopping I do by carefully considering each purchase.

Dougy’s Dishes:

Fry up some Squid tubes in avocado oil and stuff them with diced tomatoes. Cheap and moderately tasty.

What’s Doug Diggin’?

YouTube Jam sessions. That was amazing. Sit down with another person, decide on a general genre and just go one for one. Here, I’ll get you started. Drunk bummer tunes (or awesome alternative mellow stuff) JWalsh got me on this one


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One Response to Oct 30th – Paris Hilton, Global Warming, Penis Enlargement Pills, Terrorism, 2012 Doomsday and Other Things That People Often Google

  1. Pingback: Robbed and Left Naked « larryabbott

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