April 4th – Hotel Derelict

If 23 hours of the day are good but 1 goes awry is it a good bad or a bad day? Whichever it is, I had a bad fucking hour today. I drove to Red Deer in the morning and spent a few hours in the Runner’s Den. I meant to go in to talk Mizuno but they were busy so I just sold a bunch of shoes instead. It reminded me of my good ol’ days back at the Westdale Den. Afterwards I went to the Running Room in South Edmonton common to give another dynamic talk on shoes and then run with the group.

All was well until I went to go check in at Hotel Derelict (Hotel Derrick). I bargained with the new desk lady. She agreed to take the tax off for me. I asked for a non-smoking room, which she said they had available. I took my bags up to 207 and upon walking in I was overwhelmed by the smell of old smoke. I glanced over at the table and saw an ash tray. I figured this wasn’t right so I went back down to the office to complain. The lady said, and I quote “No don’t worry, it’s one of those rooms that can go either way.” Was this the dumbest comment I’ve ever heard? Probably. I told her that I can’t have my products smelling like smoke. Her solution was to unleash a cancer bomb in my room made of some gypsy air freshener. When she was done I couldn’t even stand within 10 feet of the doorway. I stood outside for a while and when I saw her again I asked to see the label on the can. It said to spray one, twice daily. She sprayed that damn thing continuously for a good solid minute.

Anyway, it was nearly 9pm and I hadn’t eaten dinner yet. I went to go call Dominoes but quickly realized that I had left my phone in my pants, back at the Running Room (now closed). *I changed into running stuff there…that’s why I didn’t have my pants. Instead I just used the hotel phone.

The pizza came about 30mins later, just as I was bringing my computer down to the office to demonstrate that there was no internet. I walked back upstairs with the delivery guy and put my computer down on the bed to pay him. When I opened it back up I noticed there was a good sized crack in my screen which seemed to grow by the minute. I was pretty rattled to say the least. That was all the hotel threw at me that hour but the shenanigans continued later on.

I was doing some sit-ups on the carpet one morning. On the down phase of the crunch I happened to notice something under my bed. It was a magazine called “40 Something” and a used kleenex. It’s a weird feeling when you want to laugh and throw up at the same time. A few minutes later, when I had just gotten out of the shower, the same lady as before knocked on the door with the standard “house keeping?” question. I called out that I was here and didn’t need anything. She started opening the door anyway and I again shouted that I didn’t want anything and that I had no clothes on. She came in anyway. She saw that I was not dressed and instead of leaving, like a normal person, she apologized and then talked to me for like 5 minutes.

I’m not sure if it was because of the cancer bomb or what, but last night (It’s now the 7th) I started to get overtaken by the flu bug. Unfortunately, at 4pm, my day was just starting. I had to go to the Terwillegar running room for a run night. I managed to survive that session and I even met a nice little mouse lady. She helped me to carry bags out to my truck afterwards. I wanted to make sweet fever love to her but as my boss told me once “Tread softly.”

After that session I had to go to a Sportchek for a 9pm PK. The scene was exactly that of the one from Parks and Recreation when the the lead lady is dying sick but manages to pull off a stellar presentation in front of the city council. I wasn’t pitching the Harvest Festival but I still crushed my Mizuno talk.

This morning I wanted to blow my brains out but after pounding back a few tylenol I seem to be coming around.

I don’t think I will be staying at this hotel again. This is what happens when I break my rule of the second sketchiest place around. I went with the sketchiest and I payed for it. From now on it’s back to the Econo-Lodge.

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